The 'Combo Meal' of stale identity Khichadi…

It was lunchtime… the aroma of various dishes filled the hotel. Customers were pouring in. Just then, an “over-excited” news channel anchor barged into the hotel, holding a large boom mic, followed by a cameraman gasping for breath. Anchor: A Mumbaikar who loves food is extremely discerning. He knows exactly when to eat piping-hot misal, whose misal is worth eating, and in which area the spiciest vada pav is best. Looking at the signals of the so-called Thackeray brothers coming together ahead of the Mumbai municipal elections, it feels as though a strange “fusion dish” is being prepared in the political kitchen of Mumbai. The very two brothers who spent years calling each other’s recipes “bland” are now joining hands to serve Mumbaikars a “spicy Marathi platter.” But the aroma of this dish feels distinctly… selfish. “Greetings! The bugle of the Mumbai Municipal Corporation elections has been sounded, and the discussion around the Thackeray brothers’ alliance has now moved from homes straight to hotel tables. Let’s hear what Mumbai’s food lovers think about this ‘mega-alliance’!” The anchor rushed to a corner where an elderly gentleman was calmly enjoying pithla-bhakri. Anchor: “Uncle, the Thackeray brothers are coming together, seat-sharing talks are underway. Do you think this alliance will change Mumbai’s face?” Uncle: (Smiling as he swallows a bite) “Dear girl, in a hotel, even if the owner changes, the taste must remain good. Here, the old owner himself has completely spoiled Mumbai’s taste. Now that the hotel isn’t running well, he’s brought in another partner. In short, two old chefs are trying to cook a new ‘fusion.’ For 30 years, the key to this eatery was in their hands. What did Mumbaikars get then? Chutney of potholes and gravy of muddy water!” The anchor looked awkward and quickly moved to another table where a hefty, cheerful man was devouring misal. Anchor: “Sir, what do you think about this alliance of the two brothers?” Man: “These brands now feel overrated. Once upon a time, people flocked to hear the tempering in their speeches. Now, only the old menu remains. On one side, the ‘big owner’ whose access to power has dried up, and on the other, the ‘younger owner’ whose shop has collapsed due to lack of customers. When these two chefs talk of coming together, it’s not to rescue Mumbai, but to save their old feudal eatery. The customer—Mumbaikar—is tired of the old taste. He wants a fresh seasoning of development.” The anchor turned to a middle-class working woman at the third table. Working woman: “For these two brothers, the Municipal Corporation is like Asia’s largest food charity. For decades, its confectionery was controlled by one family. Who gets the gravy and who gets the biryani—every decision was locked inside one kitchen. Now that they fear losing the key to the treasury, brotherly affection has suddenly surfaced. This is not development; it’s a political fusion designed to bring the hotel’s cash counter back into their cupboard.” Unable to find a single positive reaction, the anchor approached an elderly gentleman. Elderly man: “In this hotel of politics, whenever a recession hits, the stale spice of ‘Marathi identity’ is taken out. The brothers who never offered a tasteful solution to potholes or monsoon flooding are now selling pills to ‘awaken the Marathi people.’ But the Mumbaikar foodie has grown wise. He knows this alliance is not a sweet of love, but a stove lit to fry fritters of power.” Shaken, the anchor finally approached a well-educated family. Woman: “This merger feels like ‘corporate catering’ versus ‘family dining.’ On one side, new projects and infrastructure are being discussed to make Mumbai a global city. On the other, the Thackeray brothers remain trapped in the illusion that ‘our old flavor is the best.’ This looks like a new franchise launched by two sinking restaurants—no new vision, no new dish. Just the same old complaints and the arrogance of ‘we own Mumbai.’” At last, the anchor turned to Tatya, the hotel owner. Anchor: “Tatya, you’ve run this hotel for years. Will this alliance end their political downturn?” Tatya: (Adjusting his glasses) “Girl, when a hotel business collapses, the owner launches a ‘Buy One Get One Free’ scheme. This alliance is exactly that. One brother’s engine is out of steam, and the other couldn’t manage his bow and arrow. Now they’ve teamed up to sell a ‘combo meal.’ But customers are smart now. They know these two haven’t come together to improve Mumbai’s kitchen—but to fill their own cash registers. Yet Mumbaikars must remember one thing—ultimately, the question is about the bill. Will the political bill of this alliance once again be paid by the people of Mumbai?” BMC is not a family business #notafamilybusiness